Before I begin, let me just say that I am not a parenting expert. I have two kids who I absolutely love and adore and great parents who raised me. I do not think that I have all the answers, or that how others choose to raise their children is better or worse than what I do with my kids. To each his own.
I did, however, feel compelled to write this blog after many weeks of people "attacking" one another through social media and after many, many lessons with my oldest on how she should behave with her brother.
I have this philosophy when it comes to raising kids that I have been passing on to my kids, and that philosophy is 'worry about yourself.' Most people would look at that phrase and think, "my goodness, how selfish." But I contend that it is anything but selfish.
Payton, my 3 year old, often comes to me with the all-too-common-in-our-household phrase, "Austin did this..." or "Austin did that..." My response to her is the same each and every time, and that response is "If he's doing something that could hurt himself or you, then tell me, but otherwise, worry about yourself."
In the moment, our talks end there. Really, there is nothing else to say at the time. But before she goes to bed, we have time to sit and talk about what it really means when I tell her to worry about herself.
It does not mean to be selfish and to only think of your needs. Worrying about yourself goes far beyond that. When you worry about yourself, you are worrying about what YOU think of you. And in our case, what you think of you, is what you want God to think of you.
People will think of you what they will; don't dwell too much on it. Sometimes you can change what they think of you, but many times you cannot. And that is okay. Be happy with who you are.
Ask yourself these questions:
Have you done enough today to make yourself happy?
Have you given back to your community?
Have you stood up for your family and friends?
Did you give your all in school/work/sports?
Are you proud of the person you are?
If the answer to any of those questions is 'no,' then you might need to work on you.
You can't let other people change who you are or what you do. The only person that you need to worry about is you. There are a lot of people in this world who will judge you; you can't worry about them. If singing running down the aisle makes you and your kids smile, then do that. If rocking out to 80s tunes in your minivan brings a smile to your face, then turn up the music and sing it loud. If you want to act a little goofy and take a funny picture, then say 'cheese monster' and work it! (These may or may not be real-life examples.)
Most of the things I do in my daily life, I don't share until after they are done or not at all, unless something fun happens, then I share it with people. I don't need other people to know, because I know and those who truly matter to me know. I hope that my kids will be the same way.
I want my kids to worry about themselves. I want them to stop what they are doing from time to time and think about if the thing they are doing is good and right. I want them to take a second and ask themselves, "am I being the best me that I can be?" And my prayer for them is that the answer is always YES!
I did, however, feel compelled to write this blog after many weeks of people "attacking" one another through social media and after many, many lessons with my oldest on how she should behave with her brother.
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| Playing nicely together on Christmas morning |
Payton, my 3 year old, often comes to me with the all-too-common-in-our-household phrase, "Austin did this..." or "Austin did that..." My response to her is the same each and every time, and that response is "If he's doing something that could hurt himself or you, then tell me, but otherwise, worry about yourself."
In the moment, our talks end there. Really, there is nothing else to say at the time. But before she goes to bed, we have time to sit and talk about what it really means when I tell her to worry about herself.
It does not mean to be selfish and to only think of your needs. Worrying about yourself goes far beyond that. When you worry about yourself, you are worrying about what YOU think of you. And in our case, what you think of you, is what you want God to think of you.
People will think of you what they will; don't dwell too much on it. Sometimes you can change what they think of you, but many times you cannot. And that is okay. Be happy with who you are.
Ask yourself these questions:
Have you done enough today to make yourself happy?
Have you given back to your community?
Have you stood up for your family and friends?
Did you give your all in school/work/sports?
Are you proud of the person you are?
If the answer to any of those questions is 'no,' then you might need to work on you.
You can't let other people change who you are or what you do. The only person that you need to worry about is you. There are a lot of people in this world who will judge you; you can't worry about them. If singing running down the aisle makes you and your kids smile, then do that. If rocking out to 80s tunes in your minivan brings a smile to your face, then turn up the music and sing it loud. If you want to act a little goofy and take a funny picture, then say 'cheese monster' and work it! (These may or may not be real-life examples.)
Most of the things I do in my daily life, I don't share until after they are done or not at all, unless something fun happens, then I share it with people. I don't need other people to know, because I know and those who truly matter to me know. I hope that my kids will be the same way.
I want my kids to worry about themselves. I want them to stop what they are doing from time to time and think about if the thing they are doing is good and right. I want them to take a second and ask themselves, "am I being the best me that I can be?" And my prayer for them is that the answer is always YES!
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